I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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