there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
