My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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