it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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