he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
