White coat. Heels.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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