AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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