Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
