Hey man sorry I got all grabby
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
