I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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