ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
