hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
