I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
