It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Your cock deserves a montage
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
