1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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