Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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