I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize