I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Someone came in the potted fern
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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