the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
