bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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