ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
