i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
