Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
