your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
