idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
