How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
