id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
