its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
