So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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