Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
