idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize