I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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