someone owes me an orgasm
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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