dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
