doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize