Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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