I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
