Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
