The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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