I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
