"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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