He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
