So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
