Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize