She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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