I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
