I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
