If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
