He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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