There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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