I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
