My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
