I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
