Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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