I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
