ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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