thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
