U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
