Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
