I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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