Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
