Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
