I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
